Transitions

May 18, 2010 at 5:09 pm (Uncategorized)

Life changes.

A lot.

How did I go into a renegotiation where I didn’t feel confident or safe giving anything and end up giving everything?

I’m not even sure how to explain that. No, that’s not right. I know exactly how to explain, but I’m feeling private and prudish. Which doesn’t make sense for a public blog. So um. Give me a minute to compose myself and ponder what to say and how to say it.

There were explosions over the weekend. Daddy and I both said things that didn’t need to get said, and we both came out of it as somewhat different people.

It led to re-dedication and rethinking. The “D/s” concept was eradicated, for a few days, between us. It left Daddy not knowing how to act, which seems to have been a revelation for him.

He asked for everything, for slavery. And he said it with truth and conviction, and so I said yes.

I think something has been missing, and that’s been confidence for Daddy, confidence in what he wants and how to get it. He found some of that last night, and I hope it stays. I’m terrified that it may not, but I will choose to trust, and I will choose faith.

I love you, Daddy. Thank you.

On other fronts, circumstances have for several days now prevented Wolf and me from coming together for the maintenance spankings he’d instituted. To make up, I’m told tonight will be… painful. Very, very painful.

Give me strength.

Katie