Blanket Night

July 3, 2010 at 11:24 pm (Uncategorized)

Some day, do you suppose I’ll do this when I’m suppose to? We’ll see. Maybe if checks and stickers are involved.

The potential advantage–and the one I anticipated–of living in a household with another submissive and two Doms should be that everyone can learn from eachother, right?

Not so much.

I want to both figure out how to help my fellow household sub learn more, learn how to submit, learn the beauties and glories and safety, and remain in a non-controlling mindset.

I wish she’d read The Surrendered Wife. I wish she’d read Slavecraft and Erotic Slavehood. I wish she’d read Submissive Guide and the myriad of other resources out there, blogs and fetlife and forums. I think that changing her fetlife designation to ‘slave’ and forcing herself to identify that way, giving up her last bit of ‘I am a Domme’ attitude, would help immensely. That’s not to say she couldn’t regain her ‘switch’ mindset later–or beta if that suits her better–but she needs to learn to accept submission as a viable life choice, since she’s, well, made that choice.

Anyway, this blog is supposed to be about my own submission. Right? Right.

But I like to help. I want to help. I have no idea how to help, and especially how to help without being controlling, and that’s hard.

On to how to help me:
I need to get back to reading Submissive Guide most of all, and the books I have lying around (Different Loving, and some erotica Daddy bought me recently). I’m reading way too many books at once (I always am), but still.

Sometimes I feel like I say ‘I’ way, way too much. Is that an only child thing, an entitlement complex, or just me?

I know I have controlling tendencies. And perfectionist tendencies. These can be excellent traits in a butler, right? šŸ˜‰ Sometimes. Perfectionism is useful when it’s not detrimental. When it’s not paralyzing.

I’ve giving up letting perfectionism paralyze me. Thank you, Celexa. Thank you, gluten-free casein-free.

Thank you for freeing my mind from its chains of depression and ADD. I can FUNCTION!

And ramble. I can definitely ramble.

I’ve put together a “chore” chart for the household, for everyone in it. I say “chore” in quote marks because I don’t like the word. It’s gained a negative connotation in this society, and I don’t think that’s fair at all. These are tasks that every household needs in order to operate smoothly, in a way that best facilitates every member of said household.

And they will get done.

There’s also a sticker chart, lists of where things belong, and lists of how to do things, like clean the bathroom. I’m having fun with these things. I enjoy researching; now that I have a brain, I also enjoy DOING! It’s pretty awesome.

I also enjoy that I can have coffee at 6pm and it does not matter: Celexa is going to knock me out and I am going to sleep šŸ™‚




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