Today’s ramblings.

January 20, 2010 at 5:51 pm (Uncategorized)

"Where to start?" over at my current favourite blog to read, God’s Gift to Him, discusses the fact that in their particular relationship, D/s applies only to their sex life. It talks about exerting "showing his dominance in a place where He doesn’t really have it" as a form of foreplay.

I understand this as valid and I’m glad it works for them, but I wanted to write about how much that would unsettle me.

For me, I feel safe and secure when I know I can rely on Daddy to be in charge of life. If Daddy doesn’t want me to go out, I may whine and complain, but ultimately it’s up to him and I’m okay with that. I WANT that.

And if my whining and complaining is unacceptable, then I hope Daddy would correct me.

Now, if there were some aspect of my life not in Daddy’s purview (my relationship with Ma’am, maybe, or my girl who lives elsewhere) and he tried to say I couldn’t do it, "for fun"… that would really upset me. That wouldn’t be "fun".

Hrm. That sounds convoluted. Ask for clarification, I’ll try to give it.

I feel the need to say here that I’m a submissive, not a slave. If we didn’t have a child, if I didn’t have certain very strong beliefs, maybe I could give myself up completely. But things are as they are, and I want to give myself up to my Daddy as much as I can.

I want to find and do what works for us.

And I want to write it all down and know it and… sigh.

I want to know that I’m good and okay. So often I feel like I’m demanding, "Dominate me!" and especially when I’m saying, hey, here are the things I can’t handle…

But I suppose that’s how I should look at it. There are a very few things that are hard limits for me, things that would damage me or damage our relationship. And it would be irresponsible not to tell Daddy about those things.

Daddy, would it be helpful to you if I find a limits checklist and/or some other BDSM "quiz" type things to fill out and post to this journal? List of effective punishments? List of ways I think I could improve my behaviour/skills/etc? (So you can decide if you want to work on any of them.) When you set rules and protocol, do you want to list the associated type of punishment in a document (as you’ve done with the protocol regarding this journal)?

And, another question for Daddy: What makes you feel dominant/alpha/Daddy?

Note to self: Write another time about erotic spanking vs punishment spanking vs cathartic spanking. Also the exercise currently in progress from Erotic Slavehood. Also the importance of hearing my Daddy’s voice, but also that it’s probably possible to be told that I’ll hear him when he wants, and to be quiet. That could potentially make things even more wild.

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3 Comments

  1. Daddy said,

    Not respecting hard limits is a violation of trust. Whatever document we create will need to address this. So, I think putting a checklist here would be good.

    Go ahead and make your list of behaviors you want to improve offline. We’ll discuss them and then put them up here, with updates.

    I like successfully completing tasks well. I like knowing that I have accomplished something difficult. I like connecting and knowing that you are mine.

    And I am really looking forward to your thoughts on spanking.

  2. godsgifttohim said,

    It’s interesting to see things pointed out by someone else. I reread the post you linked to (which is now over a year old). It seems I’ve done more growing than I thought in the last year. Maybe I need to go back and add an addendum to some of my early writings.

    Looking back, perhaps I was still somewhat hardened to his leadership outside of the bedroom. I now not only accept it, but often welcome it. This whole thing is about learning and growing. Thank you, dear girl, for pointing it out.

    XOXO
    gg

    • littlekatieface said,

      godsgifttohim,

      Thank you so much for your comment 🙂 I’m glad to hear that you feel things may have changed enough for you to add addenda to your old posts… I know I’d love to read them. Seeing the progression of relationships like this would, I think, be a great help to those of us just starting out 🙂


      Katie

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